We help lots of lesbian, gay, bi and trans couples and individuals to build stronger relationships.
We can help with any issue, from the big problems that might threaten your relationship and have a big effect on you and your family to smaller issues that just make things a little less than perfect. Even if things are going brilliantly for you, we can help keep it that way.
I don’t know how to come out to my family and friends
The first thing to remember is there is no right or wrong way to come out. While some people are comfortable identifying themselves as gay, lesbian or trans from an early age, others might take a little longer.
How should I do it?
As with any big announcement, it’s a good idea to take your time and not rush into things. You should only come out if you feel it’s the right time in your life to do so. Don’t come out because you’re feeling any external pressure to do so – this is a decision that you should only ever make for you, not for anyone else.
If you are ready to talk about it, start by telling someone you really trust and who you think will be supportive. This might be a member of your family or a close friend. Talking to someone who you know won’t judge you will help you feel more relaxed and will make it easier to tell other people as you get more used to talking about it.
It’s a good idea to tell people at a time and place when they’re comfortable and can talk freely. Don’t come out during an argument or when you’re already feeling particularly emotional. If you tell people in the heat of the moment, they may associate the message with negative feelings – or may not believe that you actually mean it. Give the conversation the space it deserves, and try to talk about things calmly and reasonably.
What if I get a negative reaction?
You can expect a variety of reactions to coming out. Most people will be totally accepting. Some may take a little more time to come to terms with what you’re telling them. And some people will be less welcoming. Prepare yourself for all of these.
If you get a negative reaction to coming out, don’t be discouraged. Other people’s prejudice isn’t something you can control – nor something should you feel you have to. Keep your cool and don’t take anyone’s reaction – negative or positive – as indication of whether you’re doing the right thing.
How we can help
You don’t have to be in a relationship to go to counselling, you can always get support – there’s lots out there.